I’m not who I want to become

I’m not who I want to be.

I’m not who I thought I’d be. 

    I saw my reflection today, and as cheesy as this may sound, I didn’t recognize myself. I have become the girl I told myself I would never be. There is nothing terribly wrong with the person I am today, just that, it’s not me. 

    A year ago, I was happy and at peace with myself, just not entirely content. I took hot bubble baths and read all day long. My dreams were filled with premonitions of the future. I didn’t care what other people thought. I wasn’t the most popular, but I liked who I was.

    I don’t like who I am today. I’ve becom consumed by societies glamorized doom. Consumed by the opinions of others. The number of likes/followers I have. I haven’t written in ages. I’ve become incredibly shallow and superficial. Impatient and arrogant. I’m repulsively confident but at the same time, more insecure than I have ever been in my entire life. Beauty standards and social statuses have become my life. It’s not something I’m happy about. So today, and tomorrow, and for the rest of my life, I am going to strive to change the path I’m on. I want to live selflessly. I want my presence to compliment those around me. I don’t mean that in the “I make your life worth living” way, but in the sense that, I want to bring happiness. I want to build stronger relationships with my family and truer relationships with friends. Today, I’m going to become who I want to be, rather than settling with the mold that society has forced me into.


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